Love Trips: I Didn't Kill Susie

Alcohol has made me do many things: some insane, some hilarious, and some plain evil. It was insane, and so unlike my somewhat prudish character, when my Puerto Rican BFF, Bacardi, unleashed my inhibitions and self-imposed rules and I slept with Johnny on our third date. In a jibaro accent, Mr. Superior yelled: Nena! Deja de ser tan cabrona y agarra ese hombre! So I did, and though I cried like a blubbering fool afterward, I felt free during those 30 minutes.

There have also been plenty of hilarious moments due to an overabundance of alcohol consumption. Like when my hard-core drinking Indian friend Janet and I stumbled down the stairs of a club in Cancun or when my Dominicanita Ceylin was so trashed she fell asleep smiling. But then there are those evil moments. Like when I gulped down half a bottle of Southern Comfort with Janet and then called Alicia, my college nemesis who was sexing Kurt, my college love interest. It wasn’t a friendly call. It was more of a “Imma-tell-your-boyfriend-from-home-about-your-sexcapades-so-don’t-fuck-with-me-pendeja” call. I scared the living shit out of Alicia and then hung up the phone triumphant. Muahahahaha!

Go to Love Trips: I Didn't Kill Susie to read the rest

Love Trips: The End of Ghetto

Sometimes I can be a little bit ghetto. That's right. This Masters degree achieving, ELA teacher certification seeking, Andover prep school graduate can roll her long neck, convert her tiny mouth into a O, and growl, "Conaso, you mother fucking pendejo!" with a thick Quisqueya Heights* accent. I can also slap an ass-grabbing White boy across the cheek, pound my fist against the window of a yellow cab, and suddenly turn around and state eloquently: "How very nice to meet you."

Check out the rest of Love Trips: The End of Ghetto!

Love Trips: I See Potential Penis, People

I have a sixth sense. Not the creepy kind like that pasty, frail White boy who sees ghouls and goblins, but the kind that actually doesn't scare people. Not the kind that baraja readers claim to have; the third eye that sends voodoo shock waves into the victims of love struck clients. But the kind that actually helps people. What is this sixth sense I speak of? The kind that every woman in America, in every barrio and campo in the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and even little villages in Africa wish they had. I can simply look at a man and know if he's going to kick it or simply kick rocks and keep on stepping.

Go to Love Trips: I See Potential Penis, People to read more!

Love Trips: My Drinking Buddy

In life, it’s great to have buddies. Buddies to count on. Buddies to bounce ideas off. Buddies to bounce on and off and on and off and on and off of…

I realized the greatness of having a handy dandy buddy at only seven years old. I sat inches away from the television, though mami warned the glare would blind me, when a little blonde boy appeared on the screen. He placed a cute, little, gray hat on his buddy – a freckled face doll with a bowl haircut – and sang: “My buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, wherever I go, he goes!” The little boy swung his buddy around and played with his buddy in his wooden clubhouse and rode with him in his little, red wagon. He was having such fun! Much more fun than I ever had with my bootleg 5-dollar wannabe Barbie bought from the Chinitos on the corner of 181st and St. Nick. I wanted a buddy! I wanted “my buddy and me to climb up a tree!” even though the only thing to climb in the hood was a fire escape. I wanted “my buddy and me” to be “the best friends we could be!” The commercial was over in seconds and I ran to mami to ask for my buddy. But all I got was a trip to the other Chinotos on 180th and Broadway and another bootleg Barbie. Click here to read the rest of Love Trips: My Drinking Buddy!

Love Trips: Ooh, Ah, Ooh, Ah???

Before having sex with men for the first time, women fantasize about the magical moment for hours and hours on end. I, particularly, lay in bed surrounded by candles and aromatherapy, visualizing the romantic, passion-filled moment: the sweet caresses of my face and the small of my back; the soft tug of my hair and my lower lip; the feeling of a wet tongue heating up my body there and there and there and there and there! Click on the title to read the rest of Love Trips: Ooh, Ah, Ooh, Ah???

Love Trips: Sujeiry’s International House of Hombres

The International House of Pancakes is well known for their creativity with pancakes, boasting a menu of pancakes smothered with oats and corn meal, filled with bananas or chocolate chip cookies and covered in powdered sugar. They all sound scrumptious, and the chefs are definitely inventive, but none of these meals are really international. There’s no mangu con sebollas y queso frito on the menu to satisfy a Dominican man’s hunger; no paninis for Italians to saver with a “Mangia!”; no miso to satiate the Japanese’s need for soup. All they serve is breakfast inspired from the different regions of the good US of A.

This lack of internationalism is similar to the selections listed on my menu at Sujeiry’s International House of Hombres. Click here to read the rest of Love Trips: Sujeiry's International House of Hombres!

Sujeiry

Love Vice with Jeiry: Back To The Ex

Dear Jeiry,

For the last few months I've been involved with someone who for a lack of better words was who I believed to be my Prince Charming. Now, I usually don't fall fast, but after being wined and dined on romantic and thoughtful dates, I fell. And with our deep conversations and sweet text messages that were exchanged I really was beginning to feel as if he could possibly be "the one" you read and hear about. However, despite my nose being so wide open, I had a nagging suspicion that something wasn't right.

Click on the title to read the rest of Love Vice with Jeiry: Back To The Ex!

Love Trips: Fucking Babies

I'm not a big fan of babies. They shriek and poop so much churia that not even the soft, fragrant mix of talcum powder and Johnson and Johnson’s baby cologne masks the foul poopy odor. Plus, their resemblance to prunes and cranky grandparents is creepy and simply unnatural.

ut these are only minor annoyances compared to their blatant selfishness. Babies expect me to function with five hours of sleep or less AND cater to their needs. They demand I spend my hard earned cash on luxuries like diapers and onesies and bottles and cereal. And to make my already wasted mind more mummified, they press me with their whiny coos to switch from a juicy Greys Anatomy episode to Dora. I hate that fucking bitch. And I need 8-9 hours of sleep and to drink a Raspberry Margarita on a tropical beach!

Fucking babies...

Click on the rest of the title to read the rest of Love Trips: Fucking Babies!

Love Trips: Still Clogged

A new Love Trips is up...and its very interesting! Enjoy!

Love Trips: Still Clogged

Love Trippin' with Sujeiry: Platanos and Politics

On this episode of "Love Trippin' with Sujeiry", I am competing to be the Voto Latino political correspondent! Things are a little different this time around. Instead of watching my video on my SiTV site you must go to:

Crashparties: Vote for Me for Democratic Correspondent!



Check out my candidacy speech. I rocked the reporter role so well that I am now crowning myself the Dominican Barbara Walters! It is seriously funny! So check it out and VOTE FOR ME, SITV!!!!!!!!!! And it doesnt hurt if EVERYONE ELSE OUT THERE IN WEB SURFING LAND VOTES FOR ME TOO!

See you at the convention!

Sujeiry

Love Trips: Forever, ever?

How do you feel about "forever"? See what Sujeiry thinks on this edition of "Love Trips"!

Love Trips: Forever, ever?

Enjoy!

Get Ready for A Sexy Party!

I am excited to introduce my new venture: Luv, Jeiry Style! I am a Passion Parties® Independent Consultant selling a variety of sexy, exhilaration products, including sex toys (rotating vibrators and cock rings oh my!!!), edible lotions, massage oils, dirty (and romantic) sex games, sugary and tasty body scrubs and powders, and sex books that will expand your minds and well, just be sure to stretch!

If you would like to host a party, email me at:

LuvJeiryStyle@gmail.com

The host invites his/her friends, receives a FREE GIFT, AND gets a DISCOUNT on whatever purchases others make toward their own purchase! You cant loose people! So email me at LuvJeiryStyle@gmail.com to book your party ASAP. It's your choice. You can stay home twiddling your thumbs or you can invite a group of friends to chat about sex and play with dildos, vibrators, and look at dirty books! It is truly a unique and educational experience!!! So get to it! Email me today to book your Passion Party!

Sujeiry Gonzalez
Passion Parties® Independent Consultant
LuvJeiryStyle@gmail.com

Love Trippin' With Sujeiry: A Warning To Cupid

On this week's Love Trippin' with Sujeiry, S-Jeiry returns with a brand new video. And in true S-Jeiry fashion, there's enough bitterness and violence to go around. So check out "Before He Shoots"... a warning to Cupid!

Love Trippin' with Sujeiry: A Warning to Cupid

Sujeiry

Love Trips: Oh No He Didn't!

A new "Love Trips" is up! And remember, the more clicks I get the more hits I get and the more funds I have! Also, make sure to give me 5 stars so I can be the top rated blog. All you have to do is double click on the 5th star. Enjoy : )


http://trends.sitv.com/blogs/sujeiry/2008/01/29/love-trips-oh-no-he-didnt


Sujeiry

Love Trippin With Sujeiry: Music Makes Me Feel Stuff

A new Love Trippin' with Sujeiry is up! You must watch it and pass it along. If I get 5000 hits by this Friday, SiTV will give me a guest spot on one of their shows for a day! Im very excited by the merepossibilitybut I need all of yourparticipation: ) I have over 200 of you on my list, so if everyone clicks on the link 10 times I get over 2000 hits. SOOOOOO click on this link as many times as possible! Get to it! Make me a SUPERSTAR! Lol.

http://trends.sitv.com/blogs/sujeiry/2008/01/14/love-trippin-sujeiry-moved-music

Sujeiry

Love Trips: I Have A Feeling

Just in time for the new year...enjoy!

http://entertainment.sitv.com/blogs/sujeiry/2008/01/04/love-trips-i-have-feeling

Sujeiry

Love Trips: Musical Memories

Check it out!

http://trends.sitv.com/blogs/sujeiry/2007/11/25/love-trips-music-my-head

Sujeiry

Love Trips: I Rather Talk

Its late, I know! But its been a busy, crazy, and even busier few
weeks. Enjoy this week's Love Trips!

http://trends.sitv.com/blogs/sujeiry/2007/11/15/love-trips-i-rather-talk

Sujeiry

Love Trippin With Sujeiry: Just Like The Hoff

On this week's "Love Trippin' with Sujeiry", Sujeiry is just like The Hoff and video tapes her relapses with the occult.

http://trends.sitv.com/blogs/sujeiry/2007/11/09/love-trippin-sujeiry-just-hoff

Sujeiry

Love Trips: My Two Isms

Hey everyone!

Here's another post! This time Love Trips! Remember, go to:

http://community.sitv.com/user/sujeiry

Then, next to my pic, click on Sujeiry's Entertainment Blog. From
there you click on the blog you need to read.

Enjoy and stay tuned for more good news...