Love Trips: Being Sujeiry and Elijah

During Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's time as a couple, they created magic. They made an upbeat, amateurish infant whose "Oooh's" and "Aah's" inspired them to dance The Shoulder Shimmy and The Pelvic Thrust. They spawned an entertaining baby that babbled on and on about kissing ass and Bobby! They brought forth creatures that are so entertaining and equally stupefying that they will live on despite Whitney and Bobby’s divorce.

No, I'm not talking about their daughter, Bobbi Kristina. I'm talking about the pop sensation, "Something in Common." If you haven't heard this masterpiece then run to your nearest computer, click on iTunes and press "download". I'm also talking about the comedic reality show that should have won an Emmy - Being Bobby Brown. A show worth watching as Bobby and Whitney proved the depth of their love when Bobby pulled a doodoo out of Whitney’s constipated culo.

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Love Trips: Plugged

My past loves have been like human blenders. Their structures provide a function of torture and leave every piece of me soft and mushy. Not soft and mushy like a yummy chocolate frosty, but gooey and stinky like when your momma makes her special, green, sicote smelling "cure your illnesses" concoction. Yes. That's how they leave me. Gooey eyed from crying myself to sleep, and stinky cause when I'm emotionally devastated the shower is used for sobbing, not bathing.

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Love Trips: No Spring Chicken

Appearing five to eight years younger than I am has had its advantages. At eighteen, I'd hop on the public buses of my then hometown of Lawrence, MA and pay fifty cents. That was the price for a seven to twelve year old but I wasn’t ashamed. Instead I forgoed the lipstick, put my hair in ponytails and even considered thrashing my body against the floor to keep my cheap ass ride.

When I turned twenty-one, I wanted to hop on men instead of buses. Wearing short shorts and mid drifts, I strutted around Lawrence during Semana Hispana (Lawrence’s poor mans version of the NYC Dominican & PR Parade) hoping to meet a Latino man. Instead I got a movie invitation by a fourteen year old and a “Diablo mami, tu si a buena!” by a twelve year old Dominican boy in Macho Man Training. I turned around and yelled, "I can be your momma!" before walking away.

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