Love Trips: Snoozapalooza

"Verizon is the best cell phone carrier. It’s better than T-Mobile, AT&T, Sprint, Nextel..."

I grab my cell and switch from right ear to left. I pick up my remote from my green and white striped canopy and press power. Green grass fills the screen. Little men stand still, measuring the distance from the desired holes to their balls.

"I had Sprint for a while but now I have Verizon..." He continues.

A short, tan Asian man appears. The camera zooms and the announcer's voice heightens like a little boy who has just seen his first pepa. He introduces the reason for this sudden vocal infliction...Tiger Woods. I inch forward, closer to the screen. I'm focused. Titillated. Intrigued by...golf.

"Sujeiry."

There goes Tiger. Swing! Man, that ball is flying down that grassy knoll.

"Sujeiry."

I wonder what else Tiger can swing that hard.

"Sujeiry, are you there?" The crowd claps and I snap back to my reality.

"Yeah, of course."

"So, are you?"

"Ah, well, I don't know yet." And I don't know. I have no idea what Elijah is talking about. I search my memory, seeking any nouns mentioned other than "Verizon”, "Blackberry Storm", "GPS system". Searching for anything Elijah has said of interest in this thirty-minute-too-long conversation. My ex-boyfriend from three years ago who I loved, who is back in my life is...snoozapalooza. Did he get this boring with time or am I just more fun?

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Love Trips: Super Star Beggars

One day I'm going to follow the Train Super Star Beggars. You know the ones I'm talking about. Those train performers that work straphangers with their pleas and dazzle us with their commitment to get our dollars. They manage to be on every train, all day and all night. Its like they're superheroes!

In order of least popular to most popular, the Train Super Star Beggars include: the little boys with tattered t-shirts but fresh kicks that robotically state: "Ladies and gentleman, my name is Tyquan/Tyron/Tyrese and I am selling candy to raise money for my basketball team."; the skinny, toothless morenito, viejito who sings "Lean back, lean back, lean back!" all while leaning back as if working a limbo stick: and my all time favorite, the three brothers (or that's what I tell myself) that hop onto the train and hippity hop their way into my heart. House song on. Older brother kicks, drops to the floor and freezes into a b-boy pose. Middle brother smacks older bros hand, jumps in and all of a sudden we see the main star.

(Rolling down the train like a human wheel.) "Go Tito! Go Tito! Go Tito!"

Then, cute little Tito pulls out his baseball cap and asks for money.

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