Love Trips: Snoozapalooza

"Verizon is the best cell phone carrier. It’s better than T-Mobile, AT&T, Sprint, Nextel..."

I grab my cell and switch from right ear to left. I pick up my remote from my green and white striped canopy and press power. Green grass fills the screen. Little men stand still, measuring the distance from the desired holes to their balls.

"I had Sprint for a while but now I have Verizon..." He continues.

A short, tan Asian man appears. The camera zooms and the announcer's voice heightens like a little boy who has just seen his first pepa. He introduces the reason for this sudden vocal infliction...Tiger Woods. I inch forward, closer to the screen. I'm focused. Titillated. Intrigued by...golf.

"Sujeiry."

There goes Tiger. Swing! Man, that ball is flying down that grassy knoll.

"Sujeiry."

I wonder what else Tiger can swing that hard.

"Sujeiry, are you there?" The crowd claps and I snap back to my reality.

"Yeah, of course."

"So, are you?"

"Ah, well, I don't know yet." And I don't know. I have no idea what Elijah is talking about. I search my memory, seeking any nouns mentioned other than "Verizon”, "Blackberry Storm", "GPS system". Searching for anything Elijah has said of interest in this thirty-minute-too-long conversation. My ex-boyfriend from three years ago who I loved, who is back in my life is...snoozapalooza. Did he get this boring with time or am I just more fun?

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