An Unexpected Ambush

In past relationships, I sought to win a man’s heart through the use of special tactics. My strategies were well plotted as if I were a trainer in a military boot camp. But unlike my fellow military comrades who attempt to accomplish their goals through the art of humiliation, I always began my ploys with the art of seduction. I cooked up great meals – rice and beans with chicken or cheesy saucy lasagna – and greeted the man in question with sexy see-through lingerie to later drop and give him twenty. If this ploy didn’t work, my impatience would soon take hold, transforming my generous spirit into an uncontrollable anger. Just like a drill sergeant spewing commands, I would yammer and pound until splotches of pink covered my caramel-colored complexion and the man under attack collapsed.

My mentality was no different when I began dating Elijah. Though we were spending every weekend and most weekdays together, I wasn’t convinced I had won his heart. Though he held my hand and kissed me in public, I was filled with doubt as he had begun to throw his own tantrums – occasional rants about his ex-girlfriend. His biggest explosion occurred while we were driving back to his home on a Thursday night. His hands gripped the steering wheel and his voice rose with every syllable, with every detail of their break-up exposed. My insecurities immediately kicked in and I decided it was time to begin my mission.

The next morning, Elijah had woken up early and had left me sleeping. I took advantage of his absence, grabbed the hot pink nighty from my night bag and waited for him on his King sized bed underneath blankets and sheets. I shut my eyes when I heard footsteps approaching the door. I turned to lie on my back, adjusting my body to the most “come hither” position. The door opened and closed. The steps grew closer and I then felt the right side of the mattress sink with his body weight. The mattress creaked as he leaned on his right side and lay beside me. He then gently traced my face with his fingertips and whispered,

“I am so happy you’re here.”

My eyes fluttered opened and there he was. Still stroking my face and simply watching me with tender, loving eyes. I looked away, overwhelmed by the intimacy and intensity of the moment, and faced the ceiling. His touch, which had disappeared as I pulled the cottony covers to my nose, found me again. I managed to face him and surrendered to his gaze. We remained in bed for hours and I allowed him to show me how to love without trickery.